As we interviewed her team and peers, they enthusiastically painted a bright picture of her strengths and contributions to the department, openly providing valuable specifics and context. However, the tone shifted dramatically when it came time to discuss how she could improve. Despite assurances of anonymity and the executive expressing her desire for growth to the team in advance, interviewees were noticeably less comfortable critiquing the executive. While we did ultimately collect the insights the executive needed, per usual, it required far more creativity and finesse to gain these from the participants than it did when collecting her strengths.
Fast forward to report delivery. The executive was engaged enough as we discussed strengths, but her engagement dialed up to an 11 when we came to her critiques. She asked excellent questions about how she could improve, how to apply the critiques in this role and context, and how to best ensure the team felt their feedback was heard. She pointed out how helpful her team’s perspective was in giving her enough nuance and clarity to evolve her approach.
As we work with executives, my peers and I observe this same fascinating dynamic time and time again – peers and team members struggle to provide meaningful critiques, yet this is the part of feedback that executives WANT MOST!
This dichotomy highlights two important insights:
- Many people underestimate leaders’ appetite for honest feedback. Leaders, especially those in fast-paced environments, know mistakes are inevitable. At the same time, they are highly motivated to understand what needs to improve. Whether for business or personal performance reasons, they crave constructive criticism and support in identifying blind spots that help them accelerate growth.
- Giving feedback evokes even more discomfort than receiving it. A 2022 study found that “people tend to disproportionately focus on the discomfort of delivering feedback and underestimate the value of the feedback to the other person.” Feedback processes must reduce anxiety and create an environment where employees feel sufficiently safe, and the value of feedback is clearly defined.
Bridging the gap in critiques provided vs. critiques needed requires ongoing changes in behavior. Executives searching for feedback can and should take a central role in driving those behaviors in their organizations. As you seek out feedback, consider the following options:
- Create a growth culture mindset by regularly soliciting feedback from both peers and junior team members. When you do, instead of using the term “feedback,” consider framing your request as seeking “advice.” A recent study from Harvard Business School found that using the word “advice” led to 34% more insights on areas for improvement. If you need to improve in certain areas, be specific in how you solicit input—for instance, inquire, “What advice would you give me to make our board meetings more efficient?” instead of asking, “How can I work better with the board?” This approach allows feedback providers to pinpoint gaps and focus on actionable behaviors. It helps the feedback provider by giving them something to focus on, and it focuses more on behaviors versus personality, which makes the feedback feel like less of a personal affront.
- Regularly providing productive development critiques to others. As an executive, think about the kind of feedback you crave. Generally speaking, specific, actionable critiques are the most useful and likely what you’re seeking. As you provide feedback, each critique should focus on specific behaviors to change, when to change them (i.e., in what contexts), and the impact the change will have. When you deliver feedback to employees in good standing, frame your feedback within a positive, productive framework. Something like, “You’re a good team member, and I believe you can get even better. Therefore, I want to give you the feedback that…” to help set the expectation that feedback is a good thing.
- Respond graciously when you do receive criticism. The role of an executive mandates fighting for resources, thinking several steps ahead, and solving problems daily. You must shift into a listening-only mindset when you are receiving feedback. Simple active listening is the most useful way to ensure you get the unfiltered feedback you want. Playing back what you’re hearing, asking clarifying questions or for specific details, and expressing gratitude to your feedback provider will yield the highest quality insights about your performance. And it improves your chances of receiving more in the future. Active listening also includes controlling negative reactions or being defensive. Those are reasonable reactions but are best saved for later while you’re being introspective, and your feedback provider is no longer present.
- Build trust by making changes in response to your feedback. Now is the time to activate the forward-thinking, problem-solving part of your brain. Consider specific, actionable feedback you receive and how you might implement it. Where possible, make the changes visible to your team. Your adjustments demonstrate your engagement with your team and create momentum that can help kickstart a culture of ongoing feedback.
- Use a feedback process that matches your participants comfort level. If you have developed a strong feedback culture where positive and corrective feedback is routinely shared, then one of the many survey-driven approaches may work just fine. But if you haven’t built that muscle yet, or if you truly need specific and actionable feedback to help someone change their behavior, then consider including live interviews as a part of the process. To maximize the value you glean from the assessment, be clear with team members about the leader’s interest in hearing feedback. One best practice is for the leader to not only specifically request critiques in an email introduction to the process, but to verbally reinforce their desire for specific advice and recommendations on how they can be more effective.
The gap between the feedback executives want and the feedback they receive is very real, and at times, it can feel more like a chasm than a gap. However, it is not uncrossable. Leading by example, both in giving and receiving feedback, is critical to creating a culture of feedback. In the short term, Aesop’s 360 assessment process can quickly get you the actionable insights you need to evolve and adapt your approach.
Sources:
Abi-Esber, N., Abel, J. E., Schroeder, J., & Gino, F. (2022). “Just letting you know . . . ” Underestimating others’ desire for constructive feedback. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 123(6), 1362–1385. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000393
Yoon, J., Blunden, H., Kristal, A., Whillans, A. (2019). Why asking for advice is more effective than asking for feedback. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2019/09/why-asking-for-advice-is-more-effective-than-asking-for-feedback
